wrong person, wrong time

There is nothing in this world that is faulty-free, not even love. I often thought I had met a very good guy at the wrong time. But, to think back, if the person is the right guy, it wont be in the wrong time. Everyone who comes into our life brings something with them. Some brings memories, some brings happiness, some brings hatred, however some can bring only sadness. 

Soal jodoh ini ketentuan si Dia yang Maha Menentukan segala sesuatu. Tbh, Im not confident I can find love for me in the nearest time. Bak kata Tv3, “laki baik semua dah takde mak”. Yang ada pulak, taknak kita.

This post particularly nak vent out je. So I was talking with this friend I hadnt met since SPM and we were just starting our routine on weekly badminton session. Tiba2 1 of the friends buka topic yg agak berat. As someone who filters which news or story to tell to people, I was taken aback tersangat. But Im also not good at telling people off in real life. So I just answered it. Then it came to a conclusion where “i want to end my single life, please help me find someone kind”. So this guy took it seriously(thanks) and the session after that is just him doing research on it. 

I wasnt really that excited about it and was just taking it as an opportunity to get to know someone new. So thats that. Then our badminton group got bigger bc 1 person is an E and she kept on adding someone new almost every week(including her workplace chingus😭✋🏻). Then one night after playing, we went to kopitiam. She buka that cerita while we have new people there yg I tak cakap with 1 of it for 8 years, no I dont think I spoke to him at school too so maybe never speak pun but were classmates in F5). This guy(yg nak kenenkan) is good, he asked okay ke nak bukak sini and i was like already perplexed time tu but to quote back, I didnt know how to told people off in real life, I was like “benda dah bukak dh pun”. So +2 people now know about it. The thing is, I dont even know the guy yang nak dikenenkan at all??? Like even the name masa tu. 

Then after few missed sessions, I returned back. Tetiba things got big, someone im not comfortable with to tell my life update now tahu pasal tu? fgs at that time we were only following each other and no any info pun. i also didnt ask pun pasal tu. i just told this guy(yg nak kenenkan) to lmk if his friend is interested to get to know each other sbb dia made it clear to judge from the IG first so im good. Eh la tetiba ramai tahu. Theres no progress pulak tu? Sigh 

Then last week we had badminton session and this guy bukak la cerita pasal benda tu in the midst of our conversation(group). Theres 1 person i particularly dont want him to know bc i had history with him, and unfortunately now he knew that the guy im about to get to know not interested utk proceed. I okay tau seriously. But yg menyebabkan tak okay bc now a lot of people knew about this. zzz. mcm tak laku gila je. padahal both of us mmg dah tau dari awal mmg nk decide or not from orang tengah je. sigh. im still embarassed till now. sedih. marah. and malu. sigh. taktahu la nk explain mcm mana perasaan skrg tu. but i hate her for doing that. 😭 i dont like this feeling at all bc shes my close friend but 😭 why you did me dirty like that? 😭 sigh. sigh. sigh.

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