end of year….end of the very year….

crazy…it’s finally the end of the year..nak buat thoughts dump pun jenuh nak karang because this year…A WHOLE LOT of things happened idk how i survived wheeeew

tapi citer je la ek. bermula dengan kena buang kerja before christmas break last year(dah la baru balik Sabah 2 hari before😭), sampai lah ke cerita hati rasa dah healed sikit2 sbb finally, aku rasa aku dapat closure that i need for those freaking 12 years. gila. sumpah boleh jadi drama.

i was being fired in 24 hours, dia cam trauma sikitz bila company yg kerja skrg asyik cakap pasal goals in coming years sbb company dulu tu camtu. management too ambitious nak expand last2 cost makan diri and takleh reverse sbb building is a tangible thing yang costed way more than my gaji in a year LMAO. so bermula la episod cari kerja in 2 weeks sbb taknak new year unemployed 😤 but yeah. rezeki tu milik Dia. unemployed for 1 month and awal feb dah kerja. gaji naik 30%. 

pastu kerja kedua tu stress nak mampus wei. kena kerja sampai jam 5 pagi. weekend kerja. aku punya gaji ada 1 month tu sampai setiap weekend aku claim. bukan weekend je, weekdays pun OT, sampai jadi the talk of the office. tu pun kalau ikutkan tak cukup!!!! tapi sbb claim ada time tu pakai je la. merasa jadi orang kaya gaji lanyard hijau BUT AT WHAT COST??? tapi dari segi social life….Lord….KL is too fast for me yang slow 😭 aku rasa aku tercungap2 dari kerja, social life, sleep, makan, dating and everything. aku tak sempat dating ke apa pun sbb i was TOO BUSY working 😭😭😭😭😭😭 gila.

ah yes i went on a date this year. gila. MY VERY FIRST DATING THROUGHOUT MY 25 Y/O LIFE. kitonyo pegi date dgn someone younger. yada yada he is nice. but idk la. aku kot susah nak terima someone younger plus umur dia sama dgn adik so aku rasa dia adik though he showed his mature side. nak dijadikan cerita, kitonyo red flag dari segi communication. si pelari dari komunikasi penting. so sampai situ je la talking stage nye. 3 months? ke 4 months tah. dia punya awkward bodo taktau dating buat apa tu siap google “should i buy myself a drink and wait for my date or should i take a seat and wait for my date then order drink together” 😂 tak class langsung. sangat tiada piawaian dating.

lepas tu aku tukar kerja. alhamdulillah dapat company yg aku pernah apply time unemployed dulu cuma depa takleh proceed last iv sbb company cuti christmas and new year, kita pulak dapat banyak offers time tu(4 to be exact). this company alhamdulillah OKAY banyak. i like it so far. cuma banyak meeting je(kitonyo introvert(2023)). so dalam fasa company baru ni…..aku tak date sesiapa dan takde suka sesiapa macam aku suka dia tu. just mcm take a look at someone and thinks he is a good man tu ya la. cuma tak letak perasaan suka tu sbb kitonyo broken hearted dah bab suka dulu baru tanya ni 🤣

so….after 12 years dapat proper closure la this chapter. panjang gila. kalau buat thesis mesti dah dapat 4 kali Dr lol. rupanya last year yg aku confront dia(jap last year ke last 2 years? aku xingat tp bulan august hshshs), dia punya jawapan kat aku tu very vague. and time tu sbb broken hearted(pui) aku pun terus just block my head and just accept it as it is tp lepas2 tu dok pikir rasa cam asal dia ni very vague. mc takdak closure. takkan nk kena tanya lagi? very cheaaaap. so soalan ni bermain2 kt fikiran sampai la topic ni buka balik last month time jumpa eve😂 rupanya member bagi jawapan lain kat dia. kalau hg terus terang ja time aku tanya maybe setel awai, but yeah. dia nak jadi a good man i think. oh wait— he is a good man. but just very hard to communicate to. So termetrai la persoalan lps pujuk eve utk bgtau apa dia bgtau kt eve. man is complicated. kind but complicated. so lps balik rumah tu, cam kosong sat rasa. maybe sbb rasa finally dah boleh let go. now… tak rasa apa alhamdulillah. harap2 betul move on lah kitonyo nak bercintaaaa

pastu apa lagi ek jadi tahun ni? rasa cam yang penting2 yg tu. ah yea, kena manage finance better tahun depan. savings pun kelaut. tp tu la. rezeki masing2. mine for now is solely savings tu mmg utk family usage & travel. kalau nak kawin in 2 years, kena betul2 start saving bulan 1 ni. 😭 ish nak kawin anak orang kaya pls 😭😭😭 KSKSKSKSKSKKS 

dah tu ja la. harap2 baca beberapa tahun lagi cerita2 ni tak cringe shhshssh. 

ciao x

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